Zamboni Fuel: The Late Round Picks That'll Keep You Buzzing

Welcome to Sedated Sleeper Picks, where our fantasy hockey advice is 60% analysis, 40% wild

speculation, and 100% guaranteed to make you question your life choices. Forget the dry and

boring fantasy sites. We’re here to give you the truth: these players aren’t just potential fantasy

sleepers—they’re borderline superheroes, mythical monster hunters, and the type of people

who steal your fries and your girl when you’re not looking.

And let’s be clear: sleepers aren’t boring “safe picks.” They’re lottery tickets, late-night gas

station sushi, and that one buddy who swears he “knows a guy.” They can hit big, or they can

absolutely ruin you—but hey, at least you’ll have fun blaming me.

This week, we’re looking at three guys who’ve had… let’s call it “interesting” off seasons. Rumor

has it one wrestled Bigfoot, one moonlights as a part-time magician, and another once ate 47

hot dogs in a single sitting. Totally unverified, but I choose to believe it.

COLE PERFETTI – 82GP 18G 32A +14 SOG 143 Yahoo ADP -172.6

Perfetti didn’t just train this summer—he apparently wrestled Bigfoot in the Manitoba

wilderness. He wasn’t able to capture a picture of the notorious B-I-G Foot but the wrestling

match has supposedly left him in the best shape of his life heading into the new season. Not to

mention “Goal” Perfetti has some prime opportunity in front of him. Nikolaj Ehlers’ departure

has left a gaping hole in the Jets top six forwards. At only 23 years old and entering his 3 rd year

in the Show, Perfetti is still young and has the pedigree to really breakout this year. Especially

when you consider he only had an average time on ice of just over 15 minutes a game. Draft him a

round sooner and reap the rewards.

JACKSON LACOMBE – 75GP 14G 29A EVEN +/- SOG 134 Yahoo ADP – 120.3

Action Jackson Lacombe has arguably already broken out – in only 4 more games in 24/25 than

23/24 his point production jumped from 17 to 43 points. Not to mention his deployment

increased from an average ice time of 19:23 to 22:18 a night in his sophomore season. He also

possesses a bit of a gritty game as evidenced by his 96 blocks and 60 hits. You want this guy on

your squad because he can do a bit of everything from the back end. He is also rumoured to

hold the Minnesota state fair’s unofficial hot dog eating record, so you know he has that dawg

in him.

ANDREI KUZMENKO – 66GP 11G 26A -6 SOG 83 Yahoo ADP – 178.7

Kuzzy has supposedly been moonlighting as a magician this off-season. It’s difficult to get

accurate reports out Russia during this time but some outlets note his tricks are as prolific as

the great Houdini. Fantasy owners can only hope some of this magic carries over to the NHL

season. At first glance it doesn’t appear as though Kuzmenko was much of a fantasy factor last

season. He started the year on a middling Flames team before a quick cameo in Philly. He

eventually settled in nicely in La-La land. He put up 17 points in 22 games with the Kings, also

putting up 6 points in 6 playoff games. This guy oozes with talent; whether or not he’s on the

Russian gas is the real question. Take a flier on the magic man in the later rounds of your draft

and watch him flick his big wand in front of the net. He’s our first DEEP SLEEPER of the season.

Fantasy hockey isn’t about playing it safe—it’s about looking like a genius when your 13th-

round pick suddenly outproduces someone’s third-rounder. Perfetti, LaCombe, and Kuzmenko

all have the potential to be those guys.

Will they? Who knows. Perfetti might actually join Bigfoot’s beer league instead. LaCombe

might retire to compete against Joey Chestnut and Kuzmenko may accidentally teleport himself

to a location only he knows of.

But Perfetti, LaCombe, and Kuzmenko all have one thing in common: opportunity. And

opportunity is the fentanyl of fantasy sports—potent, dangerous, and capable of swinging your

entire night.

Welcome to Sedated Sleeper Picks – home of bold claims, questionable logic, and sleeper picks

so outrageous you’ll either win your league or get committed to the psych ward.

-Dr. Deep Sleeper